Week 10- All Hail New Supreme Leader Skittle Monster

“What am I gonna change? my aggressiveness, my bestiality when I’m out there? What?! Like No, its what I do.”

- Josh Norman

What a guy

Sorry this one is so much later than usual, election kept me preoccupied. But hey at least now that the election is over

In case you missed it, Golden Tate scored the most disrespectful walk off TD of all time last Sunday

How many careers can you try to end in one play?

We had yet another showing of big man prowess last week. I give you 6’6” 335lb DT Jordan Phillips.

So Graceful

We also had a squirrel on the field.

only twice have the Colts ever won in Lambeau, both times there were noted incidents of animals on the field. In 1988 a Turkey came onto the field, which is waaayyyy cooler.

Travis Kelce has moved to number 1 on my “favorite players I have” rankings

The league had its highest scoring weekend, congrats guys!

I’m going to need everyone to take it to the next level this week though:

Australian man faces $9,000 fine for using his drone to pick up a sausage from a hardware store

This Thursday’s matchup is horrendous so I’m not really gonna talk about it. At least we will see a new uniform tonight though. The Ravens are wearing these not so bad purple unis.

The Browns will be stuck in white because Brown vs. Purple would look uglier than Jocelyn Wildenstein. But even though the uniforms won’t be worn, the NFL still took promotional photos.

So, once again, either they planned the schedule first then decided to do color rush but ignored the schedule when initially picking colors OR they picked each team’s color and then made the schedule while not paying attention to whether or not the color matchups work.

Plenty of talented players to go to waste on a short week.

Without further ado.

Week 9 Review

Skittle Monster 156.9@ The Bone Zone 108.8

Pat just went off last week, plain and simple. Melvin Gordon gave a performance that asserted himself as the league’s top back while Zeke Elliot and Matt Ryan continued monster seasons. Every season an MVP candidate starts the year on fantasy waivers, this year Matt Ryan has been that guy. Several of Charlie’s players delivered solid points this week, DuJuan Harris was a solid waiver pickup and Michael Thomas has continued to benefit off of the abundance of Drew Brees TDs going around. Ultimately, it was the same story, different week as Pat rolled.

Pat refuses to be stopped, get out of his way:

Genderfluid Nonbinary 125 @ Harrisonburg 21-16 115.1

Joe won the battle of the Antonio Brown trade, even though the trade actually favored Jacob in week one. Brees repeated his week 4 showing, leading Joe’s team with 28 points. Mike Wallace had another big day going for 20 points likely making the difference between the W and the L. Jacob came close to victory, but ultimately didn’t get enough points from2 of his Carolina 3, had newton and Stewart performed up to par this game could’ve ended differently.

After a rough week 8, Joe has returned:

Winterfell Wolves 84 @ Kings of Leon 102.9

Arizona on the bye meant no David Johnson for Brian, that was rough. The bigger problem was that most of the lineup took the week off with him. Matt Stafford continues to come back to Earth and not a single receiver managed to grab 10 points. Julio Jones and Philips Rivers continue to lead Nick’s team further into playoff contention. The awakening of Forte has rounded out the roster, turning the team into a weekly point contender,

Brian put his roster on easy mode this week:

Can I Play Baseball Now? 148.2 @ What A Time To Be Alive 121

After Thursday night I thought I had this one. 50+ points from 2 players and I was coastin…. Mark Ingram decided to follow up his -2.5 point game last week with 30.1 this week, sensible. The Eagles secondary still can’t cover Odell. A lot happened really, and Sam put up an insane 148.2 points. This is Sam’s season high, just barely edging out his week 4 numbers.

As Tebow goes so does Sam:

Mister Meeseeks 103.1 @ Dicks Out For Harambe 106

This one was a bit of a blouwout for a little while, and the Murray went off for 30 points and almost brought Phil back to glory. Phil squeezed just about every possible point out of his roster and it still wasn’t quite enough. I think we’re all just waiting for Jay Ajayi to go for 200 yards against New England in week 17, just when he is useless to Pat. Also Fuck Dak Prescott

Phil was once again just so close:

Power Rankings

*as of 11/11 2:00AM

Pat is beginning to paint a masterpiece of a fantasy season

He now holds the number one spot in every metric, this is the first time a team has achieved a perfect score in the power rankings. After a brief decline, Joe has risen back to the top of the power rankings.

Sometimes things happen, and even though you’re the second scoring team in the league, you’re in last place the division. This is life for Brian. He loses the 2 spot in the rankings after a tough go in week 9

Joining Brian in 3rd is Jacob, having a slightly opposite season of holding an impressive record despite having some scoring struggles during the year. Someetimes you get all the bounces though

Charlie continues his slide, dropping to 5th place. He still holds the edge in the Schwifty division post-season race

Nick and Sam both jump to tie for 6th place, its very possible that both could be competing for the final wildcard spot in just a few weeks.

I drop yet again, this time down to number 8. My team is now serving as a sacrifice for Penn State’s season and I am completely ok with that. I will lose every fantasy game by 100 for a trip to the NY6.

Despite turning a corner, PBut remains in 9th place since his team is last in point, consistency and (most importantly) overall wins. You’ll make the jump out of 9th eventually

Phil still holds up the rear. It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it. Its like Phil is fulfilling his fantasy purpose.

Game of the Week

THE BONE ZONE (5-4)

Harrisonburg 21-16 (5-4)

Line: Harrisonburg 21-16 -15.9

After a hot start Charlie has lost 3 of the last 4 and is now in risk of losing control of first place in the Schwifty division.

Running backs have been holding the team back from its deep playoff potential.

Still, if you have a quarterback, you have a chance, and Charlie has 2 quarterbacks upon which to rely. If Rodgers or Big Ben can play to #elite QB potential, this team can be carried to the late stages of the playoffs.

If the roster can’t find a way to come together, then the lingering possibility of losing the division begins to become reality.

Jacob finds himself currently leading the race for the wildcard as the season reaches its final stretch.

The Carolina 3 have been up and down, but if Cam can finally get going Jacob could find himself past the wildcard and into the automatic berth of the 2 slot.

Perhaps the Antonio Brown trade can jumpstart the roster and lead Jacob into even better playoff positioning; for now, trade partner Joe stands in the way. The first step to second place is beating Charlie this week in a matchup that has Hyuuuuugggggeeee playoff implications for both divisions.

This game is being played on live hyperHD simulcast across ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, FOX and MSNBC with interactive multiplatform social streaming on twitter and facebook. Don’t ask what that means just be awed by all the buzzwords

Oh! Wait! We’ve got some new information incoming here!

Wow, crazy stuff.

Hunger Foul

What A Time To Be Alive: 59.5 points

Not really the worst week to win this award. Yeah it sucks to Hunger Foul when you lose but when the loss is completely out of reach you don’t really worry about a fox hunt. Diggs, Shepard and Ertz all had solid outings as pass catchers, but that was about it. This was more about the rest of the league having low bench point than anything else. Good job guys.

Waiver Move of the Week

Genderfluid Nonbinary

Drop RB Eddie Lacy, Add RB Tim Hightower

SCALE 1 to 10:

It finally happened, Joe finally cut Lacy from the roster. Following season ending ankle surgery, Lacy was placed on IR and doomed to this fantasy fate. This is the first time in league history that Joe’s team has existed without the presence of Eddie Lacy. This is a big moment for Joe, big the way finally getting rid of that bad tattoo you got while blacked out in Vegas is big. Lazy Lacy is gone and Joe can finally breathe easy, this is the end of a beautiful relationship but one we all saw coming.

Bad Luck of the Week

Mister Meeseeks

Marcus Mariota’s 2 Interceptions

Give Phil credit, he had to go to the waivers for a QB1 and he made the best choice. Mariota went for 313 yards and 3 touchdowns. The problem: his two interceptions. Had Mariota not thrown just one of those INTs Phil would’ve won. Pat initially argued against the move from INTs being -2 to -3, this week it won him a game. Weird how the world works.

Week 10 At A Glance

THE BONE ZONE (5-4) @ Harrisonburg 21-16 (5-4)

who will assert their dominance?

Can I Play Baseball Now? (4-5) @ Skittle Monster (8-1)

This week Sam tries to break Pat’s growing win streak and you know how that’s been going for people.

Manning, Ingram Reed and another will likely have to step up in support of Beckham and Murray,

while losing Crabtree to the bye takes away a consistent point scorer and sore loser.

Pat will once again roll out the Top QB and RB in the league and challenge this week’s victim to do something about it.

Its starting to look like the only thing Pat has to worry about now is surviving the chaos and ruthless nature of the playoffs.

What A Time To Be Alive (3-6) @ Kings of Leon (5-4)

Big game for both teams here.

Wins can buoy playoff hopes a bit longer; losses could knock us into pretty deep holes vying for the 2 spot or wildcard. Jameis Winston will get a third consecutive start, this time with BOTH powerhouse first round running backs in support.

Excited to watch Julio do his annual pantsing of the Eagles secondary.

Bron Maxwell “Press Corner” just laugh it off amritie?

Byron Maxwell started cracking up when he found out how badly Julio Jones burned him

Nick has his three toughest games of the season remaining and will have to need to give himself some buffer room to prepare for a matchup with PLo.

Dicks Out For Harambe (4-5) @ Winterfell Wolves

Pat made it through Patriot Bye week but now has to face the tough temptation of deciding wether or not to willingly bench his New England players or play them into a bad matchup…

Let me pretend that there is any question as to what the decision will be. Tom Brady is aiming for another MVP award (which he doesn’t deserve this year tbh)

But it remains to be seen if Gronk will want to ever catch another TD in his career or just keep it at an even 69.

Brian welcomes back DJ with arms wide open on some creed shit.

This is another one with some big playoff implications; once again the winner gains a nice head start while the loser begins to dig a hole.

Mister Meeseeks (2-7) @ Genderfluid Nonbinary (5-4)

It’s likely all on the line for Phil with this one.

Yes, it’s possible to make it into 2nd place at 5-8. No, it isn’t likely. An 8th loss on the year eliminates Phil from wildcard contention via tiebreakers and would require him to win out and get help to claim second in the division and reach the playoffs. To sum it up: