Week 12 - Abridged (I've Been Drinking)

“There are some plays Nate certainly wants back and some plays he made were pretty good. I get that those are hard to see."

- Sean McDermott on Nathan Peterman’s 5 INT first half

What happened last week? The Birds won, get fuckin used to it.

Golden Gobbler

This year’s golden gobbler goes to yet another wide receiver, Keenan Allen of the Chargers. Congrats, Brian, on doing nothing to earn this award. Better luck next year everyone else.

MVP Race Update

1. Russell Wilson – 248.1 Points

2. Tom Brady - 236.2 Points

3. Carson Wentz – 228.4 Points

4. Alex Smith – 220.2 Points

5. Kirk Cousins – 209.4 Points

Flex MVP Race Update

1. Todd Gurley II – 197.6 Points

2. DeAndre Hopkins – 172.9 Points

3. Kareem Hunt – 171.3 Points

4. Antonio Brown – 170.6 Points

5. Le’Veon Bell – 169.9 Points

Here are your updated playoff odds heading into Sunday night:

Sam – 100%

Jacob – 100%

Pat B – 100%

Phil – 94.48%

Brian – 81.12%

Pat L – 74.96%

Charlie 26.24%

Thomas – 13.46%

Joe – 8.92%

Nick – 0.00%

These are just your odds of finishing in the top 6 of the league if scoring were the only tiebreaker… it doesn’t incorporate H2H tiebreaks but your odds would be close anyway.

Without further ado.

Power Rankings

*updated as of 11/26 9:00 PM

Hunger Foul

Squanchtown Squanchers: 62.1 Bench Points

Phil put up 161 so I really didn’t give a shit if my bench scored 100.

Waiver Move of the Week

Squanchtown Squanchers

Drop RB Darren McFadden, Add QB Blake Bortles

SCALE 1 to 10:

It’s always nice to drop a player the week before his team drops him in real life.

Bad Luck of the Week

You Guys

Shittier LM Note

I’ve been drinking literally 7 of the last 8 days (so every day except for Tuesday). On that note, I did go through and update some housekeeping in the stats department so everything is up-to-date there and I even went so far as to correct all the trophy histories on the ESPN page

Playoff Scenarios

Schwifty Division

Sam has clinched the division. He clinches the 1 seed overall with a win this week or next, or a loss from Jacob this week.

Phil holds the points tiebreaker over Pat so if the status quo remains, he’ll take the 2 spot. With a likely loss this week, Charlie’s already slim chances of claiming the playoff auto-bid are gone. The second seed in the division will simply come down to who has the better record between Pat and Phi these 2 weeks, with Phil getting any ties.

Wubbalubbadubdub Division

Jacob has also won his division. He can only steal the 1 seed overall from Jacob if he wins out and Sam loses out (the 1 seed would be decided in their matchup next week).

The 2 seed is wide open in the division for the second year in a row. PLockett is a little screwed in the current grouping as he is in 0-3 vs the bunch with no chance of winning a 3-way tiebreaker (Brian is 3-1 and Joe is 2-1 so the result of his game with Joe wouldn’t affect the tie). Pat loses any tie with Brian and only beats Joe in a 2-man tie and ONLY if he beats Joe week 13. Brian is actually in the driver’s seat for second in the division as he wins out a 3-way tie in the group as well as a direct tie with Joe (via points) or Pat (via H2H). In fact, Brian can clinch second in the division with a win this week over Jacob and losses by Lockett (who is losing) and Joe (who lost already). With his loss to Butler this week, Joe is only alive for the second seed if Brian loses out.

Wild Card

It’s looking a lot like the wild card will go to both of the 3rd place divisional teams. A few scenarios could lead to 2 Schwifty teams getting through.

Brian’s easiest route is just to win this week and hopefully claim the 2 spot, he can still win out and make the postseason regardless of the results elsewhere in the league, an upset loss to Nick next week could put him in danger, but it isn’t likely.

Joe and Patrick are in dire straits with their assumed losses this week. Whoever loses their matchup next week is eliminated while whoever wins will likely make the playoffs as the 5th or 6th seed.

Charlie could get through at six wins as well but will need myself, Joe and Brian to all drop into a tie with him and have me dip below him in points. I can pretty much only get in with the right combination of losses leading to, Joe, Charlie, Nick and Brian/Pat in the loser’s tourney.

See you sooner than usual