Week 7 - The Halfway

"Eli, man, every time I'm doing an interview about you, it doesn't have to be an interview, even in the crib amongst the homies, every time somebody badmouths you … I'm the first one to back you up, and be like, 'He got two rings before his brother.' Here you are talking about how you don't watch Lil Wayne much. That's fine. I'm cool with you … You probably need to bang some 'Carter V' before a game. Just a consideration."

-- Rapper Lil Wayne's official statement directed at Eli Manning, closing with a plug of his new album.

Since we last talk Pat and Sam joined Jacob in the 30-win club, they are now tied at 31 wins each. Juicy.

Joe also entered the 30-loss club, he’ll be joined shortly by Butler, in fact, he can be the one who hands Pat his 30th loss this weekend.

Super interesting week of scoring, we had several teams all hover around the same scoring mark:

Brian 129.6

Belka 122.9

Lockett 122.3

Butler 121.4

Joe 121.4

This is the second time this season Pat has scored the same as someone else that week.

We had a second grouping hover near 100 and then two more stuck at 95 or so.

For the 6th week in a row, the league has outscored its weekly average. Week 7 is very close to week 6 on average at just a .55 point difference.

Let’s talk about the playoffs.

Fantasy Pros gives me a nice little projected standings that I’m going to share with everyone. It projects your record (schedule based btw it knows who you have left to play and which week) and then spits out the odds it thinks you’ll make the top 6 based on the expert consensus opinion on our teams.

Take a peep:

As of right now, the projected playoff cut is 5-8, that would be our lowest ever but also plausible considering the league seems to have split into a top and bottom 5.

Moving on to “luck”

Here’s how overall wins says your team is doing from a “luck of the draw” standpoint. In order words, here’s how much your head-to-head schedule fucked you over.

As you can see I’m the luckiest (no way I could have rigged this so don’t even bitch) and Brian is the least lucky.

Another random fun stat you can tell from this is that Brian, Joe, and Sam all shit on the league points wise every week while Pat B, Charlie, and Nick are basically getting lapped every other week.

Without further ado.

Week 6 Review

Super Bowl Champion Eagles 153.5 @ Call Me Big Popp-ah 122.9

This would’ve been the game of the week if I had made an LM note last week but I was tired and lazy. I was feeling pretty good about this one after Thursday with 33 points from Saquon and 26 from Carson. Still, flashbacks to week 9 of 2016 vs Sam ran through my head. That week Mike Evans had blessed me with 32 points of his own on Thursday night, only for my team to fall short of 100 and lose (granted that week saw Cam give me 8 points out of the QB instead of 23). Sam would put up a furious fight to claw his way back though. After 1 PM, I still hadn’t hit the 100-yard mark and I basically watched SNF praying for all of KCs throws to go to Hill… the ones that mattered, did. Same trailed by 4 entering MNF with his GB D/ST vs Davante Adams… 30 points later, a close call with another Thursday choke turned into my biggest regular season performance ever and a big step toward placing myself into tier 1 with Sam and Brian. With my team now sitting at 4-0 in the division, this game might end up being huge down the stretch for playoff seeding. I’m now 3-4 all time vs Sam.

Another big lead:

Kings of Leon 114.3 @ Harrisonburg 21-16 107.6

Damn Y'all, Nick has pulled out some seriously clutch wins these last two weeks. A critical upset of Joe (which gave him the tiebreak for 3rd in the division this week) followed by a much-needed victory against Jacob to get to .500 and stay out of last place. Nick inched his way out in front of Jacob in this one, time slot by time slot until finally, he finished the night with a 7-point lead. Jacob had Alfred Morris still to go, but ultimately, his score would never change as Nick would hold on for the W. Jacob now finds himself in unfamiliar territory at the bottom of the division. The Wubalubadubdub is muddled as always, and the projections seem to like Jacob to make the playoffs… but it’s a long uphill climb to turn divisional last place into a postseason appearance. He’ll likely have to Jump Nick to get there. Nick closes the gap on Jacob, he’s 2-3 vs him all time.

The Pepe grows stronger:

Kavanaughty by Nature 121.4 @ Fitz Magic 129.6

This was a big game in a couple of ways… 1) Joe now sits a game behind Brian in the back half of second place when things could be flipped. 2) After starting the season a promising 3-1, one game away from that critical 4th win he has stumbled to .500 at 3-3, forcing a big week 7, but we’ll get into that later. Joe was throwing haymakers with Matty Ice, Todd Gurley, and Sony Michel. Brian countered with big days out of Hill and Conner. Both rosters had -1 out of their D/ST and both saw big struggles at WR. The difference in this one honestly was at kicker. Brian’s kicker was stone cold with 18 points while Joe had an iffy day and got nothing for it. I think this once again shows why you have kickers, PAT (butler) because they are often the difference in close games like this. Boom.

I fucking love getting to use this gif:

TETREHYDRO CHUCKABINOL 98.7 @ Falls Church FOBs 93.5

What a win for Charlie! Another highly exciting game (you’re welcome) sees a team get a much-needed win and avoid the bottom of the barrel. Until Charlie’s running backs and FLEX can get things going, he needs to scrape together any win he can. Phil is the perfect opportunity because he’s in the same spot. Both of these teams are waiting for something out of the RB position and due to Charlie’s kicker, now they’re both in a dead-even race for the playoffs. Phil needs LeVeon back as soon as possible, and Barber might finally be what we thought he was now that Jameis is back but every week that Bell isn’t back and Phil can’t find a win is another shovel in the ground making his hole deeper. Charlie now holds the series lead between these two at 3-2.

Will either of these teams escape the consolation pit of death? Tune in next time…

The Butler Space Pirates of Planet Cuck 9 121.4 @ VT 35 ODU 49 122.3

Man, this game was soul-crushing for Pat. First, he had to watch as Pat bounced back in the 1 PM slot with big games from Gordon and JuJu, while Watson kept the door open for a close victory. Then in the late afternoon slate, the Ravens D picked up 11 sacks of Mariota (from running a lot) on their way to earning 20 points. Still, Monday night provided hope as Pat had the entire Green Bay roster to make up a 67 point deficit. With ARodg on your side, anything is possible. Pat ultimately got the performances he needed… kind of. One of Rodgers’ TD “passes” technically went backward, counting as a lateral and costing pat 4 points and maybe 2 yards. Those 4 points would go on to be the difference in the game (as he predicted on the spot). Pat is also going to bitch about a lost fumble totaling to 3 instead of 2 points, but let me hit you with some #facts. Butler’s team had 2 fumbles (-1) and 1 fumble lost (-2) for a total of -4 points. Lockett’s team had 3 fumbles and 1 fumble lost for a total of -5 points! So not only did the split fumble penalty rule (if you fumble at all its -1 and if your team loses possession then you get hit with the full penalty) help pat but the total value of a fumble lost also had 0 effect on the game because both teams had the same number. This game gave PLo a 3-2 all-time lead vs Butler.

It seems Pat truly named his team appropriately:

Power Rankings

*updated as of 10/17 4:49P

If you peep the graph on the league website, you’ll see that top and bottom half delineation starting to form up. Generally speaking only health, roster and management are the things that can move you upwards in the polls and get you into the playoffs. Make your moves now.

FanPros Roster Grades

Joe (+)

Butler (+)

Sam (-)

Pat (+)

Thomas

Jacob (+)

Brian (+)

Nick

Phil

Charlie

Fan Pros hates you Brian, but it doesn’t seem to matter.

Sam holds onto the top spot despite a tough loss.

We’ve got a logjam in tier 2

And Jacob still appears to be the front-runner for that final playoff spot.

Game of the Week

Kavanaughty by Nature (3-3)

Planet Cuck 9 Space Pirates (1-5)

Line: R -43.3

This game has some big implications that have nothing to do with the postseason. Joe can regain his team’s naming right by being above .500 at any point after week 7… 4 wins guarantees he is 4-3 or better when that happens. Joe opened the season 3-1 and it looked like being over .500 at week 7 was a sure thing. Then an upset loss to Nick gets followed by a close drop to Brian and suddenly Joe has set himself up for a very big game 7. Win, and Joe gets his team back. Lose, and he’s suddenly 2 games behind schedule…yikes. Fortunately for Joe, he’s playing Butler.

Pat is hot off his harshest loss maybe ever and fighting desperately to fend off the looming threat of playoff elimination. A loss this week not only LETS THE ENTIRE LEAGUE DOWN but also puts his playoff dreams on the edge of a black hole. Good Green Bay is on a bye. Making the upset even harder for Pat is that he doesn’t keep a second QB or TE on the roster and had to go waivers for those selections, He grabbed OJ Howard to fill on slot but maybe missed out on Jameis as he was taken by Jacob. It’s a super thin wire now, let’s see who Pat rolls with.

This game is being played on Thursday night, fuck it make this a slopfest.

Hunger Foul

Falls Church FOBs: 63.4 Bench Points

Not a big week for the hunger foul. I think I had the biggest bench, but it doesn’t matter. Phil lost his game by the slimmest of margins and his bench could’ve done a ton to change that. Barber was definitely the call at RB and Cam would’ve won the game if plugged in over Dalton. Phil also lost out big on a points upgrade in his flex position.

Waiver Move of the Week

Falls Church FOBs

Drop RB Peyton Barber, Add RB Wendel Smallwood

SCALE 1 to 10:

Hittin that rewind switch to make up for lost time… this one happened two weeks ago. However, it was too good a move (and there wasn’t much this week tbh) so I decided it deserved to be noted. Last year Pat pulled an excellent RB block on Phil (or maybe it was QB) either way Pat blocked Phil on the waivers last year and won move of the year for it. He tried again this year, and it didn’t work out. Noting that Phil had a bye with no bench options, he grabbed Alfred Blue off the waivers before Phil noticed in an attempt to keep Phil from having the top projected back (who would’ve won the game for Phil btw). Phil countered with the late pickup of Wendel Smallwood to gain the few points he needed to pull out a critical week 5 victory

Bad Luck of the Week

The Butler Space Pirates of Planet Cuck 9

The Lateral

I already brought it up a bit but essentially this was the deciding play of deciding plays in Pat’s game. If this ball travels even half a yard forward, it goes down as a 2-yard TF pass for Rodgers, worth 4.08 points. Instead, the ball moved horizontally at best, counting as a lateral and therefore a run play by the receiver. Pat got 0 points for this. He lost the game by 0.9