The Pre-Season: Bacc At It Again

"I thought I was dead for a second."

Ben Roethlisberger after an awkward tackle pulled him out of the game against Baltimore with some shoulder issues

“Don’t know if I’ll ever find an offseason quote better than that tbh… get used to it.”

Me, Last year

Told ya

All time moment in NFL history happened this training camp

Also I guess it was cool seeing the formerly homeless guy who lied his way into a tryout run a punt back for a TD

Draft Order

Once again, the draft order will be decided off of the Parrot Demerit Beer Mile. Phil automatically receives the first pick in the draft… the rest of us will compete for picks 2-10. We will all submit blind guesses for Phil’s total time in the beer mile (that’s time drinking + running). The closest guess will have pick 1 in a “draft order draft” to select. Any ties will be resolved based on last year’s standings, with the better finishing owner receiving the earlier pick.

I’ll send out something for submitting your guesses closer to the beer mile date, once the beers have been determined. Sam, Brian, and Lockett, I need your beer selections for your ¼ mile leg of the beer run as top 4 finishers.

R.I.P. Phil

Speaking of Phil, I am sad to inform y’all that Phil has decided to put down the phone and keyboard and retire from the fantasy football life. (He has reaffirmed his commitment to doing his punishments, however, as he is a gentleman and a scholar) We obviously love Phil for the 3 years he’s given us, he and Nick were huge in us being able to get to 10 members and become even more legitimate. While we’re sad to see Phil go, we’re happy he was able to tag along for a few years and I want to use this chance to make the point that lives change, especially as we enter this full-blown adulthood piece of shit deal we got sold 26 years ago. Your ability/desire to commit to something as frivolous as fantasy football will change as time does and it's ok to step away from the league if you don’t think you’re fully into it anymore. Not that I think anyone isn’t committed or some shit, that’s not the point being made here.. its that this is a fun thing and we take it that way so never feel bad to say “no” here because ultimately it's for the sake of your happiness and ours. Love you, Phil.

Pat and I kinda handled the replacing of Phil behind the scenes. Nick Butler has been on the waitlist to join the league for a while now and honestly, is the only person who has actively expressed interest in joining and gone so far as to ask. We put out some feelers to other CHS folks we see regularly, and none were very interested, so Pat and I decided to extend the offer to Nick. Nick’s been in past iterations of the league before and we all know him so this should be a fun and smooth transition. We also know from past experience he is gonna be hella active and brings the added plus of possibly setting a beer mile world record if he ever has to run ours and that could send us viral (WOOOOOOWWWW THE CLOUT). Nick B will assume command of Phil’s team once voting concludes. We will move forward with 9 members and a majority vote of 5. Welcome to the league Nick and, Phil, you will always be in our hearts and historical records

Rule/Structure Change Voting

Alright fam, the big vote is here.

Please follow this link to vote on rule and structure changes for the upcoming season.

Owner of the Year Voting

The nominations are in and we are down to 3 finalists for our JPFL Owner of the Year, presented by Sage Dining… Your finalists are: Sam Belka Nick Leon Brian McAvoy And Charlie Gaskin Please vote here

Draft Date Selection

Last order of business to address is the selection of our draft date. In years past, we have drafted either the Thursday before the NFL season or sometime in the week leading up to Game 1. This year a proposal has been made to host a live draft at the beach house PBut has rented on 70th street for the weekend of August 22-25.

The proposed plan would be to have the draft the evening of the 15th (or 16th/17th if need be) with everyone local invited to the beach house for an in-person draft (should have 5-7 in-person) and everyone else being Skyped in. The beauty of our draft software is that we can project on a TV at the house as well as letting everyone log in individually to make their draft picks if they would like. That way Charlie in Denver could pick just like someone in VA even if he doesn’t Skype in. We would do the beer mile and selecting of draft spots day of for this to work. As fun as drafting in person would be, I understand that some of you might just not be able to make the draft that day (Sam can’t but says he is ok drafting off a preference sheet because he needs a handicap for his threepeat attempt). It also might feel risky to some of you to draft in the middle of week 3 preseason, so I’ll open our doodle up to additional dates as well. Fill out the doodle here