Week 3 - Divisional Blood War

“I’m not dying”

– Eli Manning

How it feels to play for the Dolphins now:

And how it feels to be a dolphins fan:

I mean damn

It's nice to know, though, that even the best of the best are still like us

Let’s talk about the Eagles for exactly one second

Ok, erasing that from our minds… been a fun year for QBs already, Fitzmagic completed an INT on his 8th different team

And Dak and Lamar continue playing well having the rest of NFL fans like

Alright enough lazy memeing, let's get analytical

We’ll start with the luck factor. This is basically a breakdown of your overall win percentage (win% if you played 9 games a week, 1 vs every team) to your actual win% and uses the difference as a measurement of how lucky or unlucky your team has gotten from scheduling. This obviously doesn’t include injuries, bad waiver luck, random shit like your player getting traded in IRL… We’re just measuring how much the schedule has fucked you, that’s all.

And it's no surprise that the leader in getting fucked is the cuck team. There are only 4 possible losing matchups Pat could’ve had on the season and he drew them in both weeks so far.

On the flip side of things, I had 3 winnable matchups and hit on one of them. Shit happens. Charlie sits at an even 50/50 and has converted positively on those odds both weeks.

Nick Butler’s team serves as a nice example of this tool. He would’ve beaten anyone in week one and lost to anyone in week 2, so his luck should check out to 0…

Let's look at some playoff odds though, that’s all we really care about

Fantasy Pros giving us some interesting models here. Lot’s of 1-1 teams at ¾ locks to make the postseason. Chuck sits as a coinflip+ to avoid the consolation bracket in spite of being 2-0 and Brian somehow isn’t considered the most comfortable team…

Lockett rocket finally taking flight I see

Sorry, Nick, but you’re like the one team the computers hate. Maybe smash an iPhone at best Buy today or something, I think it’s justified (not like that cheating horse).

Once again looking like the playoffs cut-line is that 7-6/6-7 spot.

Look back at the other playoff model our league utilizes, here are your odds:

Brian – 88.00%

Chuck – 83.84%

Nick B – 71.44%

Joe – 62.00%

Sam – 60.40%

Pat L – 56.84%

----

Thomas – 55.80%

Jacob – 55.32%

Pat B – 50.12%

Nick L – 18.52%

So, a similar picture. Still, lot’s to be hashed out over these next few weeks. We’ll know a lot more at the end of September.

Go Jags tonight I guess. Need Jalen Ramsey to be an Eagle so I can lose my shit

Without further ado.

Week 2 Review

TETRABYDRO CHUCKABINOL 126.7 @ Big Dick Nicks 81.6

I hate to say that I hate to say I told you so because that would be a lie; I fucking love it. Nothing personal against Nick but after pining on about how week 1 can just as easily be an outlier as a valid data entry, I needed SOMEONE to go make week 1 their outlier. Sammy Watkins 42 points, outlier, not happening again. Seattle Seahawks run game skrong, outlier; Russell Wilson is the Seattle run game everyone knows that. CMac's 40 points, maybe happens another game but… OUTLIER. Harrison Butker probably not hitting causal 17s all year too. The point being, fam this shit is week to week and Nick got week-to-weeked harder than a summer fling finding out they ain't it for cuffin season. CMac gets caught up in TNF, Carson has a normal day, Sammy isn’t the lucky KC wideout catching 2 70 yards touchdowns, Butker switches back from RB to kicker and the Ravens D plays someone not named Miami and it’s a perfect storm to have a letdown game. Nick’s mortal, we all are. I mean, I already lose sleep at night thinking like “damn, what If I PBut and tear my ACL tomorrow and then I get fat and lazy.” Nick’s team is just another extra special reminder that we all have to die one day. Charlie meanwhile, is the except, he never dies, only comes back stronger. It’s a wild roster composition but it works dammit. Fitz and Kirk haven’t been cannibalizing each other. Williams is getting enough catches to work as RB2. AB is back in the game. Never bet against touchdown Tom, never bet against Cannibus Chuck, never get involved in a land war in Asia.

Nick found out Charlie’s Schwartz was just as big as his:

Genderfluid Nonbinary 127.2 @ Harrisonburg 21-16 140.6

Jacob is officially trolling the league. First off. he didn’t even draft Dak Prescott, and then to put up the 140 with the comfort of getting to bench your MNF defense. Joe didn’t have a terrible day just everyone absolutely pulled their weight and then some for Jacob (except Allen Robinson but we DO NOT speak ill of Penn Staters in this household). Dak neutralizes Lamar with a 30 of his own. Gurley, Henry, Ertz, and Kupp all give solid double-digit efforts and then Tyler Boyd comes through with a clutch 17… and the most predictable thing to ever happen Julio Jones get a 25 against the Eagles. All because of a boneheaded defensive call on 4 and 3. Jim Scwartz loses as many as he wins nowadays… Joe really needed Josh Jacobs to continue to be an RB1. 9.9 is 3.6 roentgen not great, not terrible (TM future team name for me btw). The real dagger for Joe was DJax sitting out Sunday night. A typical outing from him could’ve given Joe a big enough Monday night lead to perhaps hold off Jacob. Toss the Browns D back in though and it's unlikely. Joe’s real accomplishment here was scoring within 0.5 of his projected total.

Jacob jumped the Genderfluids like a wild pack of proud boys:

The Butler Space Pirates of Planet Cuck 9 134.7 @ Minshew Mania 149.6

I almost feel bad for Pat. He totally lucked into the Patriots thing being like actually the best strategy for two weeks of fantasy and he pulls Ls in both. It’ll probably continue another week vs the Jets but eventually, it stops, that’s just football. One second you’re 9-0 the next you’ve lost 4-straight to Philly, Dallas, Houston, and KC and you’re out the $100 you bet on your team to go undefeated, as you all know. Amazingly, Pat's team still hasn’t played a complete week either. One week its DJ, then its Jones. O.J. has been incredibly hard to find ever since the other O.J. became incredibly easy to find on twitter. Julian and Josh now are WR 2/3 for NE, not 1/2 making their rep split much rougher, so now Pat has to hope Edelman is better than Gordon ¾ weeks or its just a crapshoot. And Hollywood Brown is in the lineup now so expect his first bad week ever in the NFL. Meanwhile, Brian saw massive success from his rebrand and is hoping to see things stay that way. Brian hung in early swapping blows with Pat. Every Brady TD was matched by Goff, Ekeler matched Jones with a better day receiving, and Metcalf canceled Cooper. Ultimately Brian had to win a way to beat the 35 of the Patriots D with Calvin Ridley, Mark Andrews, and Nick Chubb. 21 by Andrews put Brian ahead of schedule and a big SNF tuddie from Ridley was the capstone. Chubb simply put the icing on the cake come MNF.

A riveting, back-and-forth battle between two heavyweights, trading haymaker for haymaker:

Call me Big Popp-ah 127.2 @ Hurricane Nuke Force 1 104.9

Bruh fuck this game. I was so damn excited when I finally opened the scoreboard Sunday afternoon and say a project 140 vs 140 beasts of a game. Sam had a slight lead after 1P but I was optimistic that the projections were right and things would just slightly lean in my favor with an extra player to go… little did I know, my fucking team was done scoring at 4. Drew Brees bitch ass thumb, fucked. Eagles dumbass training staff, fucked. David Njoku getting a concussion from getting table topped and then also breaks his wrist, fucked. Thank God the Eagles just have to make this one-fourth down stop and bitch ass Matt Ryan and we get a real-life football win to make thi-and it's gone. Just start Russel Wilson you dumbass and you get to be like 4th in the rankings or some shit. Oh well, on to Detroit. Sam’s team did some stuff. Kamara and Mack put a combined score that goes 1-Whatever now with me being the 1. Those two Vance McDonald TDs ended up being huge and how the fuck did SF have like 500 rushing yards?? Chris Godwin why u have to do it to me of all people. Baker and Kyler gonna be a fun experiment and by that I mean I hope it sucks and you lose our division.

Sam was staring 0-2 in the face, then 4 PM came:

Lockett Rocket 127.1 @ Kings of Leon 107.6

Nick, let's be honest, I may not live through a beer mile so it's good that we have you here. Pat had a solid week though, Zeke finally got back on America time (adjusting from Mexico time) and had a nice week. Kenny Golladay had everyone trying to remember if its L-L-O or L-L-A and Matt Ryan back in Boston College form. Still, Mike Evans like a fuckin bust, Phillip Lindsey gonna maybe become the UDFA who won a job and then talked a bunch of shit about how he proved the doubters wrong only to lose the job back. And now JuJu and Evan have to break in new passer (could go great, could go terrible, like 3.6 roentgen). Nick spent another week waiting for Aaron Rodgers to be Aaron Rodgers (this is why we wait on QBs) and Joe Mixon makes me feel smarter ever day (FAMOUS LAST WORDS ALERT). Still, Odell is Odell, T.Y. can T.Y. and a white knight lurks in the shadows in the form of Raheem Mostert.

Things are off to a very bumpy start for the Kings of 182:

Power Rankings

*updated as of 9/18 7:00 PM

Quick power ranking note. Since Dick Ragdahl provides a power ranking (which has a decent formula behind it) and ESPN has its Ameritrade Poll, I've decided to have some CFB-Esque fun and include those “polls” into our formula. That being said since Dick’s formula seems to be a bit more solid, I’ve weighted the ESPN poll to count half as much as anything else… your record is still weighted to be 3x more than the others.

Ok everyone, as welcome to the first official full strength LM Note of the year. As I teased the last few weeks, I’ve decided to outsource (to china) the most mathiest part of our rundown to big brain himself, co-commissioner Pat Butler. He’ll apply his GE (short Genderfluid Erotica) skillset to breaking down what the computers have to say each week because he, of course, speaks computer. It's exactly like the gathering of the ents. The Hobbits are our teams the ents are the computers (which actually od look like ents when you enter the matrix, as Pat does each week) and they talk for hours about what each team is and then they bring the results to Pat (who plays the role of Gandalf here). That’s your peek behind the curtain.

Anyways, time to pass things off to ‘Ol Treebeard. Here is League Analyst, Pat Butler-Schmidt:

Alright fam, here is the post week 2 power ranking breakdown. Sitting at the top as the only team in tier 1 is Minshew Mania and it’s how it should be. Brian’s team is the only one-two put up 140+ points in both weeks. His team is powered by the once again back up to a holdout that we all forgot about except Brian, Austin Ekler, the waiver move of the year so far, Mark Andrews, and Hokie rookie phenom, Joey Slye. Each of them is ranked #1 at their respective position.

In Tier 2 we have the unexpected break out seasons for Charlie and my brother. Charlie’s team is also been very consistent with last year’s MVP, Pat Mahomes, leading the charge. Charlie’s team seems very solid but has just traded his 3rd WR for a flex play. Charlie’s bold moves seem to finally be paying off.

Nick, however, blew his load last week against my team and was extremely flaccid this week; going from the highest point total in week 1 to the lowest point total in week 2. His difference in scores would have beaten 7 other teams this week. We’ll have to wait and see which week really represents his team.

T: It’s obvious that Nick felt the heat with me calling out his cheating last which I still have no evidence for but he definitely did it, as you all know. Anyways, the block was hot so Nick had to take one for the team and lay low for a week. I’m still onto you Nick, and you should keep laying low… for 11 more weeks. That’s probably enough time for things to cool off.

At the top of tier 3, we have Jacob who is having a solid season but is the second unluckiest team in the league as he is 1-1 despite being the 4th highest point scored. Dak is having an MVP season and the Derrick Henry is shining ever since the Titans took Dion Lewis out the back and shot him.

Rounding out tier 4 is Sam who is having a decent but lucky season, as he is 1-1 even though he is 7th in points for and overall wins. Adams, Thomas, and Kamara have not performed up to their levels and Sam will be hoping for those guys to turn it around.

T: Aw shit, y’all! 5 teams off the board and no Plocket that means history… Pat had spent 1 week prior to last in the bottom half of the power rankings. That means this week will be number 2, tying Brian… So Pat needs a win to maintain the tie, a loss gives the crown for “least amount of time spent in the bottom 5” to Brian. We’ll see if the Lockett Rocket can continue to get it into gear

At the top of tier 4 is the luckiest team in the league, Pat L. Pat managed to squeak out a win despite being 8th in points for and overall wins. Evans and JuJu have also been way underperforming so far and also need to bounce back for Pat to have a shot at another 2nd place title.

Following Pat in tier 4 is Joe. Joe is about where he should be in these rankings with the 6th most points scored, but probably should be 5th or 6th above Pat and maybe Sam. Lamar Jackson and Josh Jacobs are having breakout seasons and Joe has to be very happy with those picks. We’ll see if they can carry him to the playoffs.

Next in tier 4, me. What the fuck, I mean seriously. CONSPIRACY ALERT. I finally draft a good team with the 3rd most points scored and I am somehow 0-2 as I played the top point scorers of each week; talk about unlucky. The difference between my points against and the 2nd most points against is 93 points. The difference between the 2nd and 3rd most? 2. Fucking 2 points. Got damn what an unlucky start. Y’all laughed when I took Tom in the 11th, but we about to 16-0 again, or at least close, and Tom has the best core of receivers he’s arguably ever had. I feel the fate of my team rests on David Johnson or Aaron Jones being an RB1. I will really need one of them to perform as such to make the playoffs at this point.

At the bottom of tier 4 is Nuke Force 1. CONSPIRACY ALERT. Thomas so badly wanted my team to get suck, he has made his team suck to make him look innocent, but I see through you, and the jokes on you! MY TEAM LOVES GETTING CUCKED, WE’RE FROM PLANET CUCK GOTDAMN 9.

Anyway… Thomas’ RBs have been absolutely killing it as he has two top 5 backs right now in Barkley and Cook. Cook, of course, is having a great season now that he’s not playing for my team anymore. Thomas will also really need his WRs to step up in light of superstar QB Brees going down for at least 6 weeks. He’s gonna roll with Josh Allen for now and we’ll see how that works out for him LOL, the Bills.

T: Roster score is about the only redemptive quality to my team right now and that all hangs on those RBs… I’ve finally achieved my career-long dream of building a team with 3 top RBs and tbh its gonna lead to like my worst season ever somehow… Might have to rebrand around that… I’m thinking Rushin Conspiracy… Still, really want to be the Blue injury Tentz or Orchards of Asia Day Spa… Might just make a poll.

At the bottom of the league, squarely in last, unfortunately, are the Kings of Leon. Rodgers hasn’t had a great start and Joe Mixon is being a bitch. Nick seems to be in good shape at WR so maybe some of y’all who need WR help should look to Nick for trades as he definitely needs another RB as Duke Johnson has also been a bust. Nick will really need to hope Rodgers starts caring about football again and not about his next State Farm commercial, in addition to Mixon stepping it up at least a little fucking bit (57th ranked RB!).

T: Song time, I call this one

First Date by Kings of Leon

Waiver wire, Zane Gonzalez

I pick you up get my very first win.

Is it cool if cuff Bernard?

Is it wrong if I think it's PPR?

Do you like Raheem Mostert?

Maybe A.J. Brown will have a breakout year?

I just streamed the Panthers D

Can Jared Cook just get a touchdown catch, please

Bad start

Rough games

So Far I’ve Been O fer

Rodgers, let's please

Get our shit together

together, together

Let's get our shit together

together, together

Let's get our shit together

When Rodgers sucks, I melt inside

I didn’t draft you for a 16 fucking 5

I really wish I didn’t pick keke coutee

I'm jealous of everybody else’s team

Please Joe Mixon can you just try?

Tyrell Williams I might owe you a high five

I dread the thought of a calendar shoot

A sexy clown in a fireman’s suit

Bad start

Rough games

So Far I’ve Been O fer

Rodgers, let's please

Get our shit together

together, together

Let's get our shit together

together, together

Let's get our shit together

Bad start

Rough games

So Far I’ve Been O fer

Rodgers, let's please

Get our shit together

together, together

Let's make the fucking playoffs

the playoffs, the playoffs

Let's make the fucking playoffs

the playoffs, the playoffs

Let's make the fucking playoffs

the playoffs, the playoffs

Let's make the fucking playoffs

Game of the Week

Minshew Mania (2-0)

Call Me Big Popp-ah (1-1)

Game Line: SHEW -2.5

Another big game of the week in store for y’all. You know, I get a lot of emails. Tons of emails. From all over the world. Many of them. Asking, Thomas, why don’t I ever get to be game of the week. Do you want to be game of the week, kid? WIN! That’s what these guys do they just find a way to win.

These guys here, they’re the kinda guys. Theses guys they’d walk up to you, hand you their camera, ask ya “hey buddy, mind takin a picture of me” and then just whoosh, BAM! Roundhouse bad boy right to your teeth you bitch! You don’t know what happened, they don’t know what happened but they just won.

Brian and Sam have combined for the last 3 JPFL Cups. They are both reigning division champions. The winner of this game is likely in the driver's seat to win their division again and is definitely a JPFL Cup favorite. Get ready for a big one

With more unbiased coverage of the JPFL Game of the Week (sponsored by Land’s End) here’s Senior JPFL Correspondent, Brian McAvoy:

The JPFL Week 3 game of the week is a battle of champions as back-to-back defending champions Call Me Big Popp-ah takes on Minshew Mania who won it all in 2016 under their former guise, The Red Wedding.

Minshew Mania is looking to stay unbeaten in what is projected to be the closest game of the week (1.4 line, 51% probability per ESPN). Call Me Big Popp-ah will be looking to keep things rolling after getting their first win of the season last week. The strength of Sam’s team is his WR group, which is arguably the best in the whole league, if the WRs live up to their billing it will be a tough outing for Minshew Mania. Minshew Mania has been anchored the first two weeks by 20-point outings from Mark Andrews at TE that TE advantage will need to be sustained if this team as hope of winning.

There will be no MNF miracles for Minshew Mania to rely on this week, as this contest will be decided on SNF with Goff + Chubb vs Mayfield in primetime.

This game is being played in primetime on ACC Network as part of a double feature in which old Duke basketball highlights will be shown in a PIP (picture in picture) format covering part of the scoreboard because we gotta keep the sacred cows happy

Hunger Foul

Hurricane Nuke Force 1: 71.8 Bench Points

As you all know, first is the worst and second is the best week to actually get this award. Now I can be optimistic about Russell Wilson leading the team to success with the help of low key fantasy stud Josh Allen. Seriously though, this guy is a football enigma. Quick. What’s your immediate overall impression of Josh Allen. First word to come to mind is probably something similar to like what Andy Dalton or Marcus Mariota maybe would inspire. Now listen to this: last year

he led all NFL quarterbacks in rushing yards with a franchise-record 631, in just 11 starts.
led the league in rushing touchdowns among quarterbacks with eight.
lead the team in both rushing and passing yards, becoming only the fourth NFL QB to do so since 2000.
averaged 79.3 yards per game on the ground, most all time for a rookie ahead of RG3 (54.3) and Steve Young (46.6)
After he returned in Week 12 from an elbow injury, he scored the most PPR points (145.3) of any NFL quarterback and second-most points of any player.

Sometimes you gotta just go full creed and hold me now, as you all know. Hopefully Scary Terry stays panning out. He was getting all the hype in the world this preseason, maybe he can keep it up. And Peyton Barber, how could I forget Peyton Barber, going out of his way on TNF to give Brian the big middle finger. Certainly, a tough week to win this award because Russell Wilson and his miracle Jesus water would’ve been enough for a win inspite of two 0s on the board, and the team could’ve scored as high as 142, but at least there’s hope for now.

Waiver Move of the Week

Minshew Mania

Add TE, Mark Andrews

SCALE 1 to 10:

Last week, we had Sam on the wrong side of a coin toss waiver move, missing out on this win.

“Sam had a 39% chance of picking a tie or better, 30% at finding the outright win…. He picked Brett Maher and game up 2 points short.”

This week, Brian overcame even greater odds to get a W. Brian won his matchup by 14.9 points, Andrews contributed 21.2, math it out and Brian ultimately needed to find 6.3 points in making a TE switch. Brian had now ay of knowing at the time, but ultimately, when he benched Austin Hooper (12.2 points last week) he needed to find a TE who would get him 6.3 points. Only 4 Tight Ends on the waivers scored enough to fill that hole. Brian grabbed Mark Andrews, the rookie, and decided to put him in over Hooper, the veteran, who had just scored a strong 12 points. Hooper only put out 5.4, not enough for the win, enough for a 0.9-point loss. Andrews dropped 20+ and Brian had a comfortable win. It’s all the small things.

Bad Luck of the Week

Nuke Force 1

Paging doctor Joe Bridenstine

I shoulda known it was too good to be true. I sit and wait til round 10 and the QB that’s still available is FINALLY Drew Brees. I’ve waited my whole fantasy career to own this guy. I was all excited to watch an afternoon game with my future HoF QB setting me up for a fantasy W. I pull out the gamecast, “oh shit, nick, this game is getting wild, the Saints ran a bridgewater play… oh he’s in again… oh wtf where’s drew brees…” I know father time when I see him and that thumb is father time kicking in the mother fucking door. He walking in there like “Hey, Drew, I already gave your career a 7 year extension… just because you shit the bed these last two when you were supposed to win SBs doesn’t mean I give do-overs.” Nice guys finish last Drew, and golly gee shit, you're just a really swell guy. Let’s just be friends… on the waiver wire… after I give you one week back to prove you suck I mean it’s fantasy football I have 0% confidence in anything.

But its cool right, Saints offense does nothing so somehow I’m just a big Alshon game away from a realistic win. Except for no.. 2 drives in, no Alshon Jeffery… turns out he got a calf strain thing in fucking warmups?!? How do you have like 4 guys suffer soft tissue injuries just warming up? This has been a plague for years now, we need you, Joe. I’m sure the Navy will understand. We have a big Australian dude too so your time abroad will look even better on the resume. It’s cool though because even with Drew and without Alshon we got a pipedream. If Njoke can have like a 70 yard game with a touchdown maybe its enough to put me over the hump barely… that’s until he gets fucking upended, concusses his head on the turf and apparently ALSO LIKE BREAKS HIS ARM OR SOMETHING!?! Penn State goes 12-0 it's all worth it.

Week 3 At A Glance

Minshew Mania (2-0) @ Call me Big Popp-ah (1-1)

In a battle of division winners, who will claim bragging right for the interdivisional week of the season

Hurricane Nuke Force 1 (1-1) @ TETRABYDRO CHUCKABINOL (2-0)

As the saying goes, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire” and this showdown fits the saying phenomenally.

An interdivisional rivalry with a less than 4-point spread should indeed be “lit.” Hurricane Nuke Force 1 is favored despite sustaining heavy injuries at multiple positions over the weekend. The stellar combo of Saquan and Dalvin Cook will provide a great building block for new signing Josh Allen to take advantage of.

They will face stiff competition in the form of MVP Patrick Mahomes who is averaging a ridiculous 33 points per game. Chuck gambled on his former Steelers and it is paying off. Bell is getting a ton of work and AB has been able to stay on the field despite his on-going “difficulties” and is scoring TDs for the Evil Empire.

Those two studs along with Kittle will be relied on to supplement Mahomes insane output. Chuck will be watching the news to see if Damien Williams can play this weekend, if not he may to rely on new addition Royce Freeman or bench stash Jordan Howard. Another matchup, which will conclude on SNF with Thomas’s Cooks taking on Chuck’s Rams DST

Harrisonburg 21-16 (1-1) @ Lockett Rockett (1-1)

Full disclosure it is taken me until this third matchup for this week to realize that all the games this week are interdivisional. I guess that is what staying up late to play Borderlands 3 does to you.

Speaking of immense firepower Jacob and Lockett have the highest game total of the week of 251 points.

Lots of interesting cross matchups here as Jacob’s Dak Prescott (this year’s #2 QB so far) takes on his own key weapon, P-Lo’s Zeke. Matt Ryan, getting the start for the Lockett Rockets, finds himself facing off with his longtime compadre in Julio Jones.

The Lockett Rockets are a slight favorite in this matchup and going through the lineups, I can see how it is so close. Dak at home vs the dreary Dolphins is a blowup spot, though Zeke is in the same game. The three deeps at WR are neck and neck with Evans/Juju/Golladay vs Julio/Boyd/Kupp. Both feature top five TEs trying to carry injury-riddled passing games. The decider of the game likely comes down to the flex matchup of Allen Robinson (our first MNF participant of the preview) vs Philip Lindsey. Both left much to be desired in the latest showings but a big game here could swing this matchup and give the victor a much encouraging winning record.

Genderfluid Nonbinary (1-0) @ The Butler Space Pirates of Planet Cuck 9 (0-2)

These two squads have been putting up good point totals but have a combined 1-3 record to show for it. Pat, in true cuck fashion, has the third-most points scored as well as the most points against (by nearly a 100 as he brought up in his previous comments to the media).

Genderfluid Nonbinary’s roster is feeling particularly undefined this week as six players are carrying an injury designation.

Four of those players are starters for Joe, three starting RBs and WR3, Desean Jackson. Studs at other positions will keep Joe in this. The second most exciting QB behind Mahomes, Lamar Jackson, has been eviscerating defenses weekly and coincidentally will feature in shoot-out vs Mahomes this week. If Kelce can be a big part of that action, then Joe put just end the week at 2-1. Pat is, as always, heavily banking on the Patriots who are blessed with an easy matchup vs the Jets and 3rd string QB Falk. If DJ and Aaron Jones live up their potential, the cucks might finally get a win on the board.

Let’s look at all the factors in Pat’s favor; 15- point favorite, no injury designations, and an advantage at every position other than QB/TE. What could be more of a cuck move than losing again?

Big Dick Nicks (1-1) @ Kings of Leon (0-2)

The Big Dick Nicks erupted to the tune of 212 points in their debut performance but surprisingly flopped with 81 points in week 2.

Was it complacency or the pressure to repeat that led to such a disappointing week 2 experience? A double-digit favorite entering this matchup, the Big Dick Nicks will be looking for rock-solid bounce back games from his starting RB duo and a big game from WR Wood.

Kings of Leon have struggled to a 0-2 start prompting team owner, Nick Leon, to let it be known league-wide that starting QB Aaron Rodgers was available for trade-in exchange for an RB.

Obviously unhappy with high pick Joe Mixon’s meager point total so far, Nick has sent him to the bench for exciting free agent add, Raheem Mostert.

A repeat 20+ game from the SF RB will go a long way to Kings of Leon getting that key first win. The King’s WR grouping can always light it up any given Sunday as shown by OBJ’s 89 TD on MNF. If OBJ, Hilton, and speedster Tyler Lockett can latch on to some deep balls this team will truly be on fire. These two could have a long 24-hour wait for a conclusion as Big Dick Nick’s David Montgomery suits up for the Bears on MNF.