The Pre-Season Part 2: A Huge Tiny Mistake
- Thomas
- Aug 11, 2021
- 5 min read
“Let’s go smoke joints in the parking lot!”
Football is BACK!
With the preseason officially underway it’s time to really ratchet down and get set for kickoff in the JPFL. We’ve still got a bit to get through from finalizing the 2021 rules to everything Draft related.
Without further ado.
Let’s start with some controversy…
As you might recall, Pat Butler ran a fill-in beer mile for Sam last month at the beach. He ran his mile in a BLAZING 9:21, undercutting the ENTIRE LEAGUE’s PREDICTIONS… only one problem, he didn’t run a full mile, he ran 0.65 miles.
The original plan was for Pat to run his mile at the beach house, along Holly Road. We took all of our measurements for distance-based off of Holly Road and a run leaving from the driveway of the house… Pat and I knew 2 precise landmarks that marked 0.125 miles in either direction, exactly halfway for a 0.25 mile out and back leg.
On the date of the beer mile, however, we called an audible and decided to run on the beach… where we had taken no measurements. That being said, we knew the distance of a block at North End was 0.04 miles, meaning Pat would simply have to run 2 blocks at the beach, there and back, for his 0.25 mile splits… Assuming that the blocks at North End are spaced the same as oceanfront proved to be our fatal error.
In order to run 0.25 miles at North End, you only need to run 2 blocks, there and back… At the Oceanfront you need to run 3. We ended up only having Pat run 2 blocks and as you can see below, the distance comes up short
As you can see from the figure below, in order for Pat to hit his 1-mile mark, he would’ve needed to run an extra 2 blocks per leg. (the same block out and back)
The route highlighted is Pat's original intended path, covering 0.08 miles. At the oceanfront, that runs from the Marriot down to 39th street (where the map says "7-Eleven"). He only ran to 40th street, one block short. Adding to the confusion was that Holly Mews drops off at 40th street but intersects by the house at 39th... making it seem like 40th would in fact be the correct spot.
Pat ran his 0.64 miles in 9:21, just 2 minutes shy of Jacob’s guess of 11:11, then Joe at 12:11 before a cluster at 14. I’m CERTAIN adding the full 0.36 onto Pat’s time pushes him into the realm where multiple guesses would’ve had a realistic shot at being correct on a fair track. If we simply apply Pat’s running pace onto a full mile, it does in fact hits that 14-minute zone, and that's without any further pace degradation due to distance. There are upwards of 7 to 9 league members who could see noticeably different draft lottery slots if Pat had run that extra 0.36 miles.
So, in light of my huge tiny mistake and the reality that its AT LEAST highly probable that had Pat run the full mile a significant chunk of the JPFL’s predictions would’ve come into play, I’m ruling that the fairest thing to do is a re-drawing of our draft lottery odds.
That being said, no one is re-running a beer mile. The Parrot Demerit has received its full share of vomit and needs no more sacrifice until the next champion is decided.
Instead, we will get current and have some hoops fun.
Allow me to introduce to you:
The Ben Simmons Challenge
As some of you may know, aside from being my incredibly distant relative (maybe), Ben Simmons is a professional basketball player most known for his inability to shoot a basketball. This past postseason, he shot 74 free throws and only made 25 of them. This has led to the creation of the Ben Simmons Challenge, in which an individual shoots 74 free throws LIVE on camera to see if they can make more than Ben’s 25.
In order to reclaim my family’s honor, I will be taking up the task and completing the Ben Simmons challenge for the JPFL’s draft lottery. YOU will be guessing how many made free throws I will make out of 74 on a regulation hoop. Just like the beer mile, we will claim draft positions from most to least accurate guess. Obviously, your guess will be capped at 74. Since there are so few options to select, I included a tiebreak guess as well.
The challenge will occur THIS FRIDAY, August 13th, at like 6:00PM in Richmond. Get your guesses in by then or be moved to the back of the lottery line.
I'll give everyone a 10-15 minute heads up before the challenge begins. We'll drop a zoom link or something so everyone can watch live... Once again, it'll be this Friday shortly after work (on the east coast)
Calendar Update
Along with the Ben Simmons Challenge, the JPFL calendar shoot is taking place this Friday. That means this is the last chance for any of you who haven’t submitted a monthly theme to do so. Themes are due by Thursday (8/12) at 8PM so Pat and I have time to plan.
Check the planning channel to submit your month if you haven’t
Rule Voting
Alright time to get down to some serious stuff. It is once again time to vote on the rule proposals that have been submitted by your fellow JPFL owners.
We’ve got a handful of potential roster adjustments, an extra week of the season and some demerit proposals to look over so make sure you read them all carefully.
If you have any questions about what any of the proposals entail, feel free to reach out and I can clarify exactly what you’re voting on. I know the Pod week stuff can potentially be confusing, so please don’t hesitate to ask if anything is unclear.
The deadline to vote will be Wednesday, August 18th at noon. You will be asked to sign in to fill out this poll (as will all our rule change polls) this way no one accidentally votes twice.
The sooner we get through these potential changes, the sooner we can select our draft spots and be fully set for the season.
Draft Date Doodle
Last but not least, we still need to decide on a date for the JPFL Draft. As usual, the draft will be held online via ClickyDraft with a voice chat going parallel in the discord. Once again, any device that can access a web browser can access ClickyDraft so you can draft on the go if need be.
There’s no “deadline” for this because obviously we need everyone’s input so just make sure to fill it out by this weekend or know that you’ll be getting texts from me and pat about dumb fantasy stuff during your free time.
That’ll do it for this quick LM note. Make sure to get your guess in for my FT shooting, vote on the league changes, and give your input for the draft date. Next time we chat (later this month) I’ll have your voting results and a draft date picked, maybe even a draft order.
We’re under 30 days to football, around the next flip of the calendar we’ll be drafting our teams and preparing our week one lineups.
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